Last night while Dan and I were getting ready for bed we were discussing the daily ups and downs of being us. A normal activity because Dan is trying to compile things to write in his 'blessings journal'. And at times....I have to admit that it is difficult to find blessings when you have had a pretty crappy day.
But last night we had an epiphany (a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.) I was apologizing for being difficult. Mainly because I have been having a hard time keeping a friendly look on my face due to the pain. And he keeps reading it as if I am disappointed in him or that I'm angry. Which, of course, is totally wrong. I hold him on too high of a pedestal to even feel that way towards him anymore. He just looked at me and smiled and said he was grateful that through all of these last four months he has learned patience and has been given the strength to endure to the end. That hit me hard. Mainly because I was thinking of all of our prayers for strength and patience to be good parents. It was so true. That has been the biggest topic of our prayers......strength and patience. We had not even realized that our prayers were being answered. We just tried to stay positive and ignore the lesson.
OK.....so, I know that I did not pray for this pain and this physical struggle. But how else do you think we could have been given the lesson? We are not given trials that we are unable to endure. It is not until we step back and pay attention to the trial that we learn our lesson.
I know I have said this before......but......it is more true today than it was the other day.....I am grateful that I am strong enough to endure to the end. I am grateful that I have the patience to see it through. And I am grateful that I have recognized that my prayers have been answered.
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