Insomnia

I can't sleep. My mind is racing about children. Does anyone do this when they are pregnant? I can't stop thinking about family projects, vacations, family home evening lessons, meals, laundry, bunk beds.......You name it.....it has been on my mind. We are still waiting and our caseworker only works on Wednesdays and Fridays. So we have a lot of questions....but have to wait until she is available. I need to figure out some relaxation techniques. Suggestions????

Spring Fever

It seems every year I get this earlier and earlier. Yesterday I couldn't help but be outside. It was cold but all I wanted to do was yard work. I want to start planting flowers.....pull weeds....and, much to Barb and Dan's dismay....I am starting in the house now too.

Maybe this is my nesting period.....

Procrastination

I found that the only time procrastination feels good is when you finally get something done. We have been putting off cleaning our back porch and setting up the hot tub for about 3 months. We always had some kind of excuse. But yesterday.....we went out and did yard work and cleaned it up and set up the tub. The feeling of relief is almost overwhelming. I cannot get enough of the back yard. Even though it is 23 degrees out this morning.....all I want to do is be on the back porch. So nice!!!

Waiting

OI!

We were wondering what the process was now that we have submitted names. So, per Viola (Caseworker) we could be looking at up to three months. When the profiles are placed in the Book of Tears they set a committee date about 3 months out. So either they wait for 3 families to submit the profiles or wait until the committee date. And of course we have no idea which one we are waiting for. But, the good news is.......we won't have to wait until 2010. We are a rare case and we are sought after......because we don't mind the older children. No one seems to want to adopt older ones. Sad.

I don't remember if I wrote this in a previous blog.....but we learned something interesting. There are children out there who are 14 or so (with babies of their own) who need to be adopted too. So if you adopt the 14 year old.....you are instant grandparents. A little mind boggling isn't it?

Book of tears.....

I'm so excited and sad at the same time. We went in to look at the profiles for all the children who are available to adopt. Sadly, it is a very large binder. I think our case worker said there was another one that was bigger. They actually offer you a box of tissues when you look at the book and read about all these kiddos. It was an amazing experience.

Viola (our Caseworker) said that as soon as she turned in our Home Study, there were so many other caseworkers e-mailing her with children for us. It was the very first time in this entire experience that I found a flicker of hope. We actually have people out there seeking us. It should make it a lot easier through the Committee process.

I tried not to get my hopes up. But, I failed in that area. I am so excited. I cannot stop thinking about having these children placed with us. We found 4-5 sibling groups with just a brother and sister, and one single child. We submitted for all of them. We will only get one selection, if we get any. But, I cannot help but be excited that we will have a family soon. I have found so much joy in this process......yet there has to be so much sorrow for me to have this joy. It is a bitter sweet happiness that I don't yet know how to handle.

Going Green

I'm all for Green. I mean, that is why we own an Earth Friendly Pest Control company right? My father has always been the green/granola health nut. All about the earth and keeping your body in tune with it. Something like that.

My father has gone raw. Has anyone heard of that? They don't cook anything. They eat everything in their raw form. Don't worry....not meat. But with that he has started drinking what they call "Green drink". Basically, it is one whole green apple, 1/2 a lemon, 2 cups of water and ANY green vegetable you can find. Blend it in the blender and strain the juice out. Drink up.

We decided to try it.....not the raw.....but the green drink. He says that it is very healthy for you and once a day is fine. YIKES. It is not really that bad.....once you get past the gag reflex. I am beginning to believe he doesn't have any working taste buds :) We will keep it up for a little while...just to see if we notice a difference. But why can't being healthy taste good?

My dad made a comment when we were down in California for the funeral that parents should not have to live longer than their children. And that maybe he should stop taking care of himself (Or in other words - being a health nut) so that doesn't happen. It really made me think about how I live my life and that it really does affect the people around me more than I thought.

So, Cheers Dad!

Adoption Update...

I don't know if I shared much in the last couple months about our "process". Our adoption caseworker called us last month and wanted to have a meeting to discuss our progress and see if we want to continue. She was feeling like we wouldn't have any luck in the Committee process.

When the children are chosen for our household (and a few other households) it then goes to Committee. Basically before a judge our caseworker has to plead our case as to why we would be the best choice of all the families. Our Caseworker feels that that is where we would have the problem.

It seems that I would be the primary caregiver. Even though Dan works from home, they don't consider him to be available for the children. Understandable....but.....if I am the primary caregiver and on morphine.....that doesn't seem to go over well with the committee process. Our caseworker says that the laws have gotten really tough lately (in the past month or so) and even smoker families are frowned upon. The non-smoker/non-morphine families are more likely to be chosen.

I cannot decide if that bothers me. I think it is wonderful that they are being picky about who they are entrusting these children to. But I cannot help but think that they are ruling out good people who would make great parents.

We have decided to continue with the adoption. But with the understanding that it could take us much longer than originally anticipated to have children placed. If at all. We could go to committee five hundred times and never be chosen.

The home study is complete.....now we get to look at profiles and start to choose which children we want to go to committee for. I think this will be the most difficult of all the tasks. It will be difficult to not get our hopes up when we find a child or family that we will want to go to committee for...........and possibly not get chosen.

Family Laughs

We played a game this weekend called 'The Last Word'. I have heard something like it with license plates. Basically you have a large group of people. You are given a subject and a letter of the alphabet. There is a random timer involved too. You hit the timer and start yelling all the words that start with that letter in that subject. The last person to say the word before the buzzer sounds is the winner of that round. I tell you.....with a large group of people....we were laughing so hard we could not get any words in. I mean seriously.....if you have a subject card with "Something found in China" and it starts with a 'S'.......who says spoons? We challenged it because it was fun....and the only thing that could be said was......most of them are made in China. I went home with the most horrible headache.....I swear I ruptured some blood vessels in my head from laughing so hard. But, it was so worth it.

Mock Family

We had a great time in California this last week. We saw family that we have not seen in years. I could not get over the joy I felt of being a part of such a large family. So, my brother and father and I decided we would start our own family gathering. We will call it a MOCK Holiday. My family is weird for those kinds of things. (My father used to have a thanksgiving gathering for all of us and our cousins.....he called it a UBARF....Uncle Burt's Annual Recreational Feast.) We have to now come up with an acronym for 'Mock'. Without fail I'm sure we will. I am so looking forward to holding this Holiday every year. I have learned to appreciate family......they are not always around to share time with.

California here we come.....

Usually I hate our trips to California for work. We had been discussing a trip at the beginning of the year, but were unsure if it was necessary......Now it is necessary. My Uncle Craig passed away on New Years day. So we are going to go down to be with family. Is this morbid or should I be happy to be going to California? I am so excited to be seeing all my family. It has been so long since we have all been together. This funeral is what is going to be pulling us all to the same spot. It seems wrong for me to be excited to go. None the less......California, here we come!!!

The joy of pressure washing

Today I got to do one of my favorite things. Ok....I know that a lot of people think I'm weird....but I love to clean things. (Like really dirty pans....Love it!!!) I had the choice of raking and inch of leaf-y mush or to use the pressure washer to move them. Dan thought I looked funny pressure washing the ground. But, it sooooo worked. And I didn't hurt myself. I don't think I will ever rake again.