Gauper

Last week I noticed a suspicious lump on Gauper. I took him into the Vet and was informed it was a mass cell tumor. Unsure if it is cancerous yet. He goes in for surgery on Thursday. Once they remove it they will be able to tell if it is cancer. They also found a bacterial infection (I'm beginning to hate that phrase). He will have to be neutered too. Today I took him in for pre-op blood work and he now has two more masses to remove. I'm really struggling on this one. He was my first baby. He will be eleven in September and they are telling me if this is cancer he might not make his birthday. I cannot seem to hold him enough. I've taken tons of pictures and videos. (Which are pretty boring....he doesn't do much) As much as I don't want to say good-bye to him...I find myself grateful for the 10+ years I have had with him. He is handsome and wonderful. The best dog ever (excluding Kestra and Elphaba of course:)) I just don't want him to suffer. They have offered Chemo but, I don't think I want to put him through all of that. His quality of life doesn't change much with or without it. 18 months is all he might have. I want him to be happy and lovable to the very end. Not miserable. I never wanted to make this decision. I hope I don't have to. Maybe he will be ok...after they cut three big holes in him and take away his manhood. He'll be mad at me of course....but it is unconditional madness right? It comes with 100% love. The kind of love only a dog can give. He has been my nurse maid through all of my struggles. He has been my lifeline. Now it is my turn. I will do anything for him.