Saturday, June 20, 2009

Needs vs. Wants = Rock & Hard Place

During our classes we took through the state, we were told not to shower children with gifts when they are first placed because they may think that that is the way that we show our love. (Or...they would get spoiled) I agree with the second one more. When Britanie came she didn't have any clothes. So what did we do? We went and bought her clothes. Looking back on that...I'm not sure it was the right choice....even though she needed something to wear. Every time we go to the store she expects we are going to buy her something. And let me tell you...a teenager that gets said no to...Not Pretty!!! But, I'm not sure we had a choice to begin with. I fear that we set off on the wrong foot and gave her the wrong impression that we have tons of money and what ever she wants is hers. We let her know that we will supply her with her NEEDS and she has an allowance that supplies her with her WANTS. There is a very fine line between the two and I hope we never cross it. I'm afraid she will be ready to pounce as soon as we do. Trying not to spoil is very difficult when you are trying to make someone happy.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Truer words were never spoken! I am in the throes of trying to convince the boys that everything they see in commercials are NOT must haves...

Amy said...

Don't set your sights too high Leslie...you WILL cross that line sometimes. It is a constant battle. Even as an adult spending our own money it is always a question.

You all have so much to adjust to nowadays, but I have no doubt that if you proceed from a loving heart, you'll be teaching her all the best lessons.