New life.....Fresh start

Dan and I were given a wonderful gift this last six months. The chance to know what it is like to be parents. To have a family. To love unconditionally. That gift...even though it was only six months....is something we will always be grateful for.

Britanie has always had the choice whether or not she wanted to be adopted. She has made the choice and unfortunately will not be staying. We are taking her to Newport tomorrow (December 3rd) to her caseworker.

Dan and I are both still quite numb about it all. We have not been able to stop and think in these past couple days. It has been a whirlwind. We do know that it is nothing that we did wrong...and nothing that Britanie did wrong. She has been 'diagnosed' with what is called "Reactive Attachment Disorder". Basically stating that she is unable to attach to anyone. So, no matter who we are or what we do for her....she will never bond to us. She will probably never bond to anyone. That is what Dan and I are the most concerned about. She is going to be out in the world and we will never be able to help her. There is nothing out there to fix what has been wronged in her. And she will be all alone. Dan and I have each other, a loving family and many friends to help us get through this loss. She will have nothing.

It is hard to believe that it is all gone. There is no more family. We will have to start all over and make a fresh start. Of course we know this is nothing compared to what Britanie has lying before her. To grieve someone when they die is one thing...to know that they still live....but you will never be a part of their life is something completely different...and Dan and I love her with all our hearts. That is a gift we will always be thankful for.